My weight now has dropped to an all-time low of 90 pounds. Losing weight in this manner has been a frightening and depressing part of the poisoning that we are struggling through. My weight dropped quickly and rapidly two and three years ago from 158 to 115. After hovering around 115 and 110 pounds for about one year, suddenly the pounds started falling off again; rapidly putting me to today’s weight of 90 pounds. For a 5 ft. 7 inch height woman, 90 pounds simply looks like hell. What does it look like to lose my weight this quickly?
Scary – I look like a scarecrow.
What does it feel like? No energy – my days feel as if I am in need of some kind of life support. Protein, carbohydrates, calories…something…anything…just get it in me!
My husband Richard, with the same poisoning, is coming in just a little behind me on exhibiting the symptoms. Over the past 9 months he has begun to lose the weight very quickly. At night, when I roll over and touch his back, it literally startles me to feel him because of this weight loss. I don’t recognize him by that ‘oh so’ familiar physical feeling of his body that I have loved for 25 years.
It’s a shocking thing to die slowly. Frustration, anger, sadness, grief. Those are just a few of the feelings that we have. Radiation poisoning (U-238 and tungsten poisoning – whatever you want to call it) is a lingering death. Every morning that I awaken, I’m surprised.
So, my friend, back to the concept of weight loss.
I applaud you if you take good care of your physical body with healthy food, exercise, rest, hard work, and some more rest (!) and there you sit today in front of the computer: In good health with weight that befits your body frame.
But, three words of advice to those who desperately want to shed 10 or 15 pounds.
Don’t sweat it.
Someday you just may need those extra pounds to help you get through a serious illness that depletes your nutrition. Those few pounds may help you heal, keep your electrolytes balanced, or keep your body from going into shock as a result of a serious disease or injury.
On the other flip side of the coin, there’s absolutely no doubt we Americans lead the pack of fatsos in the human race. I am amazed to see people eating garbage masquerading as “fast food,” pigging out at buffets, and even those folks so incredibly fat that they have to purchase two plane tickets to get their fat butts on-board. That kind of fat is not what I’m writing about.
Ah, the thought of a beautiful brazed, barbequed rib-eye steak on the grill accompanied with a yummy baked potato with all the goodies like butter and sour cream, a gorgeous lettuce salad garnished with tomatoes, olives, avocado, celery…topped with home-made ranch dressing.
My mouth is watering. I regret that it will not be.
Tonight I will dream about magical deserts such as strawberry soufflé, three-layered carrot cake, and a piece of hot apple pie topped with hand-churned vanilla ice cream.