Evening Beauty

Evening Beauty

Having previously being a Christian, then agnostic, aetheist, agnostic (again…ho hum…), Buddhist, and now a believer of a higher power…I’m not quite sure where I sit.  I’m not fence sitting, but yet I am slightly confused.  I wonder how many of us confused people are out there?!  I have come to believe in the power of prayer.  Perhaps prayer comes in different ways for different people…I know that for the first time in my life I feel a tremendous personal “at ease” feeling with prayer…thanks to those around me (you know who you are!)


Facing death head-on with the poisoning that we have has had something to do with it, but I believe more so…caring people who have been magically popping up in my life lately have helped me more than ever.


I remember the first prayer I had in the last 4 months – – it was a frightening night for me; I was dealing with a ton of physical pain, psychic confusion and all that jazz…and I began to talk out-loud to my God.  I asked for forgiveness and help in getting through this time.  I asked for a cool breeze on my forehead and warmth in my body (I’m constantly freezing because of lack of fat on my body!), and I agreed with my God that what will be, will be, and asked that I can gain acceptance and peace through this period of my life.  Pretty selfish stuff.  But, well…I might as well start somewhere, huh?!


Richard got me a beautiful blanket from Cook Island…it has a smiling fun, fish, flowers, and all sorts of beautiful designs all over it.  I’m snuggled under it now, grateful for his gift of love.  And, grateful for my precious friends, family, a wonderful doctor, and of course…Richard and his stubborn love for me.  He can be a royal pain (! 🙂 sometimes, but, I am blessed to have such an incredible love in my life.  He and I are going through this poisoning together, and we hold each other up pretty well.  …oh yes, I forgot to mention that I can be a royal pain too!


We met with our doctor this week and talked about the radiation exposure and poisoning that we have.  We asked her about what to expect through this end of life experience and how she felt about it.  She very carefully and in a caring, loving way, told us what to expect.  Honesty is her strong suit.  But her strongest suit is caring and love.  Thank you Kochy.  Kochy, You have been our rock along with so many other friends and family. 


You are ALL answers to my prayers.  For that, I’m eternally grateful.  Thanks for not giving up on me.  – Patti


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