Simplicity can cure a lot that ails us…yet another post that I will remember!

Change The Code

The brain is an amazing thing. It processes millions and billions bits of information every second.

Your brain and the way the think about your life is what makes your life what it is.

You are a product of your thoughts and of course your thoughts are a result of all you have experienced in your life.

So how is minimalist living or living at least a more simple life the answer to the problems you may be experiencing right now?

Well a lot of us go through ups and downs during our lives. But it amazes it how generally unhappy a lot of us seem to be. We have so much. so much to be thankful for. But we forget this don’t we?

We tend to focus on what we don’t have. We think we don’t have enough money, enough good looks, enough of a house, enough success. We…

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Losing Weight

My weight now has dropped to an all-time low of 90 pounds.  Losing weight in this manner has been a frightening and depressing part of the poisoning that we are struggling through.  My weight dropped quickly and rapidly two and three years ago from 158 to 115.  After hovering around 115 and 110 pounds for about one year, suddenly the pounds started falling off again; rapidly putting me to today’s weight of 90 pounds. For a 5 ft. 7 inch height woman, 90 pounds simply looks like hell. What does it look like to lose my weight this quickly? 

Scary –  I look like a scarecrow.

What does it feel like?  No energy – my days feel as if I am in need of some kind of life support.  Protein, carbohydrates, calories…something…anything…just get it in me!

My husband Richard, with the same poisoning, is coming in just a little behind me on exhibiting the symptoms.  Over the past 9 months he has begun to lose the weight very quickly.  At night, when I roll over and touch his back, it literally startles me to feel him because of this weight loss.  I don’t recognize him by that ‘oh so’ familiar physical feeling of his body that I have loved for 25 years. 

It’s a shocking thing to die slowly.  Frustration, anger, sadness, grief.  Those are just a few of the feelings that we have.  Radiation poisoning (U-238 and tungsten poisoning – whatever you want to call it) is a lingering death.  Every morning that I awaken, I’m surprised. 

So, my friend, back to the concept of weight loss.

I applaud you if you take good care of your physical body with healthy food, exercise, rest, hard work, and some more rest (!) and there you sit today in front of the computer:  In good health with weight that befits your body frame.

But, three words of advice to those who desperately want to shed 10 or 15 pounds.

Don’t sweat it.

Someday you just may need those extra pounds to help you get through a serious illness that depletes your nutrition. Those few pounds may help you heal, keep your electrolytes balanced, or keep your body from going into shock as a result of a serious disease or injury.

On the other flip side of the coin, there’s absolutely no doubt we Americans lead the pack of fatsos in the human race.  I am amazed to see people eating garbage masquerading as “fast food,” pigging out at buffets, and even those folks so incredibly fat that they have to purchase two plane tickets to get their fat butts on-board.  That kind of fat is not what I’m writing about. 

Ah, the thought of a beautiful brazed, barbequed rib-eye steak on the grill accompanied with a yummy baked potato with all the goodies like butter and sour cream, a gorgeous lettuce salad garnished with tomatoes, olives, avocado, celery…topped with home-made ranch dressing.

My mouth is watering.  I regret that it will not be. 

Tonight I will dream about magical deserts such as strawberry soufflé, three-layered carrot cake, and a piece of hot apple pie topped with hand-churned vanilla ice cream.

Love Doesn’t Discriminate

Love involves a commitment in everything that we do, think, and say.  In my opinion, love/commitment is one of the most important thing in our lives.

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It’s difficult to imagine being willing to give up your life for someone  you love – much less for a complete stranger. I think about our veterans coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan these days – with appreciation and love.  They have been working to keep the terrorists off our shores and fighting to keep terrorism away from our frontyard.

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Love is expressed in many other ways, too.  Giving and sharing to someone who needs physical or monetary help.  A shoulder to cry on.  Being quiet and listening instead of talking….a simple touch or a big bear hug.  Love is a remarkable healing capability that we, as human beings, can give.  Don’t discriminate! 

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Deli Loves

Deli Loves

Little story: Last evening, my husband Richard made a spontaneous bet that our cat, Deli, would not come up and jump into my cousin Randy’s lap.  Deli The Cat is not too affectionate, so Richard thought this $20.00 bet was a “shoe-in.”  Within 2 minutes Deli jumped into Randy’s lap, purring and rubbing up against his hand…and Richard paid the bet!  I was sitting on the couch chuckling about it . . . and still am.  Love is a special attribute.  I think we all need to do more of it!  Not that drama stuff we see in the movies, etc. – but love with a sweetness.

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So, this morning I give thanks to our American troops and to anyone and everyone who gives of themselves with love.

Is It Ok For a Man To Cry?

You Bet.

And, for you guys out there who think crying is for sissies, I beg to differ.  I don’t want you guys to make crying a HABIT, because, well…that can be a downer….but tears are not exclusive to females or babes in arms – OK?!

Life has snags, offers up huge and nasty potholes, provides us with people who create havoc in our psyche and emotions, and things generally just “go wrong”  more often than we want.  …Oh, did I mention that physical pain occurs too?!  Oh yes, there are a lot of reasons for a guy to cry.  I believe if you, as a male, took it upon yourself to let the floodgates loose once in awhile, you’d be healthier for it.

Tears can relieve stress more quickly than you can imagine.  Think about it: tears are cleansing. 

We all have the capability to find answers to our questions and work on cleaning out sorrow in our hearts.  Sometimes it takes more time than we wish, and at other times we don’t know where to begin.  I think a few tears rather than slapping and hitting are definitely healthier answers.  This afternoon was our turn to sit together, holding hands and yes…tears came.  Half a bucket-full – not a whole bucket-full.  I hope that we’ll begin to feel a little better.  That would be nice.

Planning for the Future

How do we plan for the future? …particularly when we know that there’s not much future left for us…

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It’s difficult to deal with and plan for what’s coming up in our lives. Heck, planning for anything is hard, regardless of our health, happiness and all that jazz.
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I’m sitting on the couch with family – wondering about all this planning stuff.  I think it’s important to have our family and friends clued in on what our desires are.  I know our desires aren’t always going to be met, but I gotta’ believe we need to let people know what our preferences and desires are…family (unless they don’t like us much!) want to do what is fair and right by what WE want).

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Planning for the future, I have found that I don’t want a darned thing.  Need things – yes / Want things – why?!

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Holding Hands = Love

Holding Hands = Love

I think I’ll plan on holding hands with Richard this evening.  Now, that’s a NEED!  I feel my heart nourished when we hold hands…feeling that fabulous feeling of being loved and cherished is soooo soooo important to all of us.

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We are in a place right now with family that makes us both feel loved, safe and secure.  This is a sincere need for us right now.  Our physical and psychic pain isn’t curable, nor is it helped by medicines (perhaps a clunk on the head with a hammer would help!).

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But, you know, physical touching, gentle looks of love and affection can get you through a lot of pain.

Pain Management

Over the last 3 years I have heard much conversation and read a lot about “pain management.”  …sounds like a great idea to me.  So, why can’t I find it?!

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I do know that every chronic or long-term patient has thought about it. You just can’t get through your day without thinking about how best to combat pain.

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Unconsciously I bite the inside of my mouth when pain gets the upper hand. . .I think it’s because by causing pain in another area of my body, it minimizes the pain in my gut and other areas on my body that are painful – so, biting the inside of my mouth kind of distracts me.

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Think about this: if you had lung cancer and were going through a lot of suffering because of that, you would try like heck to make the pain go away, right?!  So, I think it’s probably normal for us to try to distract ourselves from chronic, harsh pain.  And, if you can’t get the right medicines immediately, our natural inclination is to do anything in our power to Stop The Pain!

Friendship-Always Good for the Soul!

Friendship-Always Good for the Soul!

What are your favorite coping methods?  I would love to hear from you and find out about what works for others…Here are some of mine:

  • Rocking
  • Re-visit some of my favorite places in my mind (particularily scuba diving spots that stand out in my memory) 
  • Writing Lists of Fun Things I Have Done and then re-reading the list. (thanks for that one, Mark!)  Funny, but I revisit this list and can always add to it
  • Stub My Toe (Diverting my mind to another part of my body)
  • Talking and Listening to my Husband
  • Calling a Friend
  • Have a Good Cry – – I mean a big, loud and blubbering cry some where nobody else will hear me

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What are your favorite coping mechanisms?  Inquiring minds want to know!

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This morning my “pain medicine” will consist of roling over in bed and snuggling with Richard.  It’s a little after 6am and after being up any period of time, I find the pain starts rocking my little world no matter how much morphine I take or how many pain relieving patches I slap on my body!  This morning my vote is to snuggle.

The Long, Long Story

Beyond Treason – – Today I was inspired to re-watch a video “Beyond Treason.”  It’s a long video (about an hour), but if you want to know anything about depleted uranium and our personal situation, it’s worth the time. I’m not so hot at re-posting, but hopefully I can do it here.  Ah – to heck with it for now!  I tried to post this video and can’t figure out how, so, until I get smarter,  just go to www.youtube.com – type in Beyond Treason and watch the full length version!

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Rich and I have had a very tough week . . . he’s asleep, thankfully, now.  After early this morning I’m glad for him to have the relief of resting.  I’m also grateful for our friends and family caring even though we tend to be isolationist-type of people.

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Lately we have both felt the effects of the poisoning increasing in severity and swiftness.  It’s not easy to face, but face it – we must. I’m grateful for many things this afternoon as I lay here in bed next to my sweetheart.  We have had a blessed life together in so many ways…we’ve lived in many beautiful countries, done some darned interesting things, have had great friends and family support, and our love together.  Rather than wring my hands and feel despair, I would much rather think of these and other great things that have been treasures for us through the years.

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There!  I feel just a little better!