If you have been diagnosed with a chronic, severe, or terminal disease or condition – life seems to just revolve around that ONE thing.
It’s kind of pitiful in a way, but understandable in many ways. This morning I awoke with a severe case of the flu. When I opened my mouth to speak (which I do way too much anyway!) a raspy and squeeky sound choked out of my mouth. And then the coughing attack began.
No, this is not death yet! But, just for one sneaking second, I thought, “oh crap…I’m going down…” Moments later reality and intelligence returned, and I realized that I have caught the famous spring flu that most folks in the desert get each spring.
This isn’t cool for one important reason and that is the fact that I have very little to fight off any infection or illness, so I’m going to have to be pretty darned careful with myself.. White blood cells fight off infection with a normal count by most clinics calculated at about 4,000 and the esteemed Mayo Clinic declares, “A count lower than 3,500 white blood cells per microliter of blood is generally considered a low white blood cell count.”
My white blood cell count is in in the hundreds . . . so I think this way:
- Someone within 10 miles from me sneezes
- They are upwind from me
- I breathe and catch some of their cells
- My body immediately starts to scream for help
- Someone is holding a Buddhist ceremony for my soul tomorrow
Ok, that’s me being paranoid!
But, in all funny seriousness, when you have a fairly good idea that you’re croaking in the near future, your mind and emotions can really screw with you. I do not spend much time with small children…I do not hang out in the waiting room at the doctor’s office without a feeling of dread and fear…I will never visit you if you have a contageous child, nor will I visit you while in the hospital suffering and crying out for my presence! (I’ll give you a thoughtful, caring phone call and send flowers).
Living with a death sentence is irksome.
Once you get past the drama of all the life and death stuff that hurts your heart and sense of happiness…continuing on with life in one form or another is necessary. Eventually I realized that this just ticks me off more than anything.
So, getting the flu and dying do bring out some of the same feelings. It can just plain and simple: Tick You Off.
Cough, cough….I gotta’ go get some kleenex…catch you on the flip side!